Legible Tees - How to Wear with Style

A fantastic opportunity has come my way. I may soon begin working a part-time job at a really wonderful place - particularly for this mom who has been carrying too much weight in the middle (and the bottom) to be considered healthy or pleasing to my eye.

There is a fitness center in my town. This center has a babysitting service (in the way that IKEA has Småland) for children between the ages of 6 months and 12 years. Members of the center are allowed to drop their children for up to two hours while they exercise. Employees are also allowed to drop their children there (rarely more than 4 hours). There is also a pre-school attached for which I was asked to be a "substitute."


I interviewed earlier this week and (fingers crossed) I will begin working there very soon. In addition to earning some pocket money, the major perks are 1.) if I work more than 8 hours a week, I get FREE membership as do my children (my darling husband would pay about $30 per month and, 2.) I can bring my children to work with me any time and every time if I want or need to which is uh-mazing since I still don't have a proper regular babysitter nor have I family members in the area.


Great opportunity for a mother of two right? But here's the rub, there is a uniform which involves a t-shirt with writing on it. I immediately thought of Paul Fussell's Class - which I first read about 20 years ago - and his dissertation which mirrors my opinion on clothes that have writing on them. If you've never read this classic tome, I totally recommend it. Tres funny. It rather reminds me of Lisa Birnbach, et al's The Original Preppy Handbook in the way it is written. And they were published around the same time, too.


So, here I am a shortish, rubenesque lady being offered the chance of free gym membership. I'm going to have to take it. But, how can I walk in with my head held high if I feel all slovenly. I am trying to figure out how to pull off this look without looking ridiculous or like I'm trying to hard. I just want to look neat and appropriate and nice and not feel like a slob (if you'll pardon the expression).

I would feel like the female version of the guy on the far right. Ugh!

Image courtesy of Three Quarks Daily

I think it takes a certain type of woman in her forties to be able to look right in tee shirt that has writing across the chest. That type of woman would be slim and a bit less endowed bustwise. As stated, at present, I am neither. I can't wear accessories (babies, you know) nor should I wear layers (too bulky).


By the way, on the bottom, I can't make myself wear the obligatory jeans, khakis or yoga pants. My bum is just too dang big. I'm a skirt and dress wearer unless an activity (skiing, riding horses, trips to the farm, camping, etc.) demands it.


And I do understand and agree that parents, co-workers and children must be able to immediately recognize the employees of the center. I completely get that this is a uniform for work and not an article of "fashion" clothing with some random (or not so random)saying, logo or advertisement. I just need to work out how I am going to be able to do it with flair.

I'd ask Muffy at The Daily Prep; but, I'm pretty sure even she wouldn't have the answer for a fluffy gal such as I.

What about sewing on a lace peter pan (round) collar and adding small shoulder pads? What about taking it to a seamstress to change the ribbed crewneck into a ballet neckline and belting it with a Vera Bradley belt? Too much? But seriously, is it even possible for one to do this in a dignified way?

Edited on 10/21/11 to remove some details about the workplace (sorry about that -   confidentiality matters).

Happy Aniversary, Micha and Barry!

Michelle and Barack Obama celebrated their 19th wedding anniversary this past weekend. After seeing a Nightly News tease about their romantic dinner at a restaurant in Old Town Alexandria, my older son said, "Hey, 19 years! Just like you!" I agreed and added, "It looks like 1992 was a great year for people to get married." We watched the story and saw the President and First Lady smiling as they went from the car into the restaurant, then from the restaurant to the car. What a super example for my sons. Thank you, First Couple!


Later that night, as we were dressing for bed, I asked my husband if he saw the story of Micha and Barry. He had.

Me: That Michelle is living the dream, isn't she?

He: What do you mean?

Me: First, she has the smarts then put in the time, money and effort to earn a law degree (from Harvard!) and then puts forth the same effort to build a career in a sweet side of law (similar to the kind of law that I hope to practice someday) where the lawyer lends advice and uses skills and education to help folks acquire and protect their families and their assets. Then, whilst living her life, doing "the right thing" she is pursued by the interesting, intellectual, (dare I say, geeky), attractive fellow-Harvard grad (recently hired by her firm so she knows that he has passed a background check). He's a bit of a romantic and makes her smile. Her family likes and appreciates him. She marries him. They have two adorable daughters. She continues working. She moves into executive Public Relations career at big time operations and sits on the Board of Directors at a major company. All while maintaining stong familial bonds. He continues his public service pursuits. She becomes a senator's wife. Then, the president's wife. (Complete with date nights no less!)

Even now, 19 years into it, he looks her in the eye while she speaks and sometimes watches her mouth. He smiles at her when she isn't looking. His body language indicates that he is proud of her and delighted by her. He seems to genuinely enjoy her company - with the girls and without. He appears to love her and appreciate her contributions to his family and to the country. Moreover, she now spends most of her days doing work about which she feels passionate - Being Mom, Healthy Living Advocate and Supporting Military Families with Jill Biden (shout out to Dr. Biden - fellow English Major!) Her husband works out of their home office essentially and joins the family for dinner by 6:00 every night (unless he is travelling). Her mother can be in her presence within 45 minutes and is a rich supportive presence for her little girls. Her daughters attend a well appointed Friends school and they have trained secret service agents to guard them everywhere they go. They are free to have a happy safe childhood. Not too mention, all the other resources (willing friends and co-workers) who would be thrilled at the opportunity to assist her in ANY way. Plus, so much available time to pray, study, plan, meditate, write and look your best. Moreover, she has a law degree so she always has a profession that she can resume whenever she chooses. The real beauty part of it all is that she is quite aware that her position is fully a temporary situation so she can embrace it and relish it all the more. That right there is "the dream."

He: "Oh. I don't know if I'd call that "the dream."

Me: "I would."

What's a Smart Woman Like you doing At Home?

In this morning's Washington Post was a confounding Q and A in Judith Martin's Miss Manners Column. In case you haven't seen it, take a look here.

Normally, Miss Manners has a good response. Today? Fail! I'm sure she is weary of the situation; but, a conservative/traditional wife and mother could never say what Miss Manners suggests. The fact of the matter is that I - an "At Home Mom" for  several years - still have issue with this reaction due to current societal expectations. When my younger child began school, the response has become even more harsh. It just seems to bug some people (particularly women) that I don't have career-related anxiety. (Believe me, the stakes in my "career" are mighty high considering the success and failure of my efforts directly impacts my family immediately and quite possible future generations.) I've had to reference one of my favorite suppobooks called What's a Smart Woman Like You Doing at Home? by Linda Burton, Janet Dittmer, Cheri Loveless. (By the way, although somewhat dated, this book should be required reading for any intelligent and/or educated female considering or making this decision to "stay at home.")

What has helped me is that I have recently been hired by our school district as "Degreed Substitute Teacher." I can now say with truth and conviction "I substitute teach." Mind you, I have no interest in teaching permanently. (God bless the teachers who have that calling in life!) My husband and I own a handful of rental properties so I used to respond that I worked at home in our Real Estate Holdings Company; however, after the collapse of the industry, let's just say, the party mood would be dampened. But, I have found that people feel less defensive and disinterested when they are talking to a "sub" as they no longer feel like you are judging them if they are (or their wives are or mothers were) mothers who had to/chose to work outside the home.

(Additionally, I get that the disbelief that I may be "wasting" my education and experience might be a compliment in that someone sees that I have such amazing talent and skills that they would love to have someone such as myself working in their office to help achieve organizational goals. And I'm flattered. Note - I never volunteer that I don't work outside the home - not because of shame, but for the sake of peacefulness and kindness.)

If they still seem interested in conversing (which is often NOT the case), I might share about my hobbies and interests. What is so super sad and boring to me is that there are so many people who have NO interests or hobbies. They are learning NOTHING on a day to day basis. They just move through the day in a herd waiting to be told by their "bosses" what to do. Do they honestly think it's fun or interesting hearing them talk about their sad grey lives in cubicle farms, or what an annoying customer or coworker said, or how inept their manager is, or what they are going to buy with their latest bonus (wait, that last one might be interesting) - well, you get my point.

Let's face it - Specific work talk is usually pretty boring (unless your work affects me - i.e., you are the P.O.T.U.S. or my husband).

I have found that the "working people" with whom I share the best conversations are those few who either are entrepreneurs, independent contractors, teachers, artists and business owners because they often speak to passions, creativity, accomplishments, goals and they are more dynamic.

It is the same kind of energy that I get from at-home moms who truly love what they are doing and are fully engaged in care, development and wellness. These at-home moms are the ones to which I so relate. (The at-home moms who basically just keep the kids fed while they all use technology or other people to entertain themselves all day? Not so much.) Listen, I have come across a handful of at-home dads and dads who are Primary Caregivers who are amazing and interesting fellows. I can imagine that in this culture, the condescension and ignorance is even greater for them.

While I recognize that this may be a defense mechanism/coping adaptation, here is my response for all those who are unable to comprehend why a mother might choose to expend her personal resources in the pursuit of parenthood and homemaking:

"I realize that being the primary caregiver for one's own children isn't for everyone. One must really appreciate her child and the complexity of a mother's relationship with said child, the sanctity of childhood and the home that you make for him. You have to really be willing to learn on the job every single day, research, develop and implement micro-programs and be willing to sacrifice salary, bonuses, prestige and pats on the back for a job well done. I know that in 2011 USA that's not always financially possible. I also know that to many people who grew up middle or lower class combined with the modern day quest for validation and 'stuff' makes my choice seem strange. I know it's hard for you to understand. So if you'll excuse me..." Turn and walk away.

I wonder how Miss Manners would like my answer.