Vive La France

I don't know what it is about the European culture that has intrigued me for most of my life. It may stem from the stories of my parents who travelled as an Air Force family, or it may stem for the wonderful old movies that I watched as a girl where most everyone from "foreign lands" seemed exotic and interesting, or maybe the fact that, as with many youngsters, anything other that what we are may be, for the moment anyway, desirable.


For me England, France and Tunisia have been the countries to which I have been most drawn. Growning up as citizen of the Unites States of America, the introduction to England and all her glory begins nearly in utero. Follow that with an ongoing diet of British-Comedies from As You Like It to Monty Python to Keeping Up Appearances to Chef! and Coupling and sprinkle in the real life dramas and celebrations associated with the monarchies and anything associated with Jane Austen, Maggie Smith, and Dame Judi Dench (is it weird that I love the decor of the "flat" inhabited by Jean and Lionel; or, that I would wear anyone of her outfits to volunteer at the children's school?), along with the fact that language is no barrier, how could I not have developed a great affection for jolly old England. Did I mention that my bachelors degree is in English?

Frame from I Love Lucy - Lucy Meets Charles Boyer

(Image courtesy of www.cbs.com)

Then, I hear french being spoken and it sounds so lovely to the ear. Having seen the I Love Lucy in France reruns and having artful experiences with french artists, and taking semesters of french in college, and learning about the lifestyle where simplicity, authenticity and balance seem suitable for my personality, well that was all it took. I dub me - francophile. I've decorated most common areas of my house in rather a French Country motif. It is mixed with the sort of early american/colonial, too. (How could it not be? I live in a suburb in Northern Virginia so the colonial influence cannot be escaped.)

Tunisia (sometimes Morocco) beckons me. My father took home movies of his visit to Morocco back in the early 1960s. The images of the souks and markets were so exotic and exciting a little girl (moi) watching and wondering if she would ever be able to visit such a place as this. As an American of African descent, I feel a draw to visit the continent of Africa. As one hears the stories of great unrest in the largely islamic countries in North Africa, I am less likely to visit there any time soon. Still I so, enjoy visiting vicariously through others. When the Real Housewives of New York visited, I couldn't wait to record and watch it. It still looks like an amazing place to visit. Oh, and did you know that - after arabic - french is an official language.

I taught my sons a few french phrases in the interest of good manners and etiquette (okay - and to amuse myself). Call me crazy; but, I would rather my son say "I would like something to eat please" or "I would like the bathroom please" in french rather than English when we are in the company of other adults.

Resources for learning and practicing French are many. I shared in a previous posts how Madames Dariaux and Guiliano have influenced my lifestyle. Here are a few more:

Earworms Rapid French - The best method of learning useful phrases in a fun way.

Professor Toto's Watch & Learn French has been a useful tool in introducing the language to my sons.

Image courtesy of Lifestyle-Vogue.com

Belle Du Jour is my all time favorite movie to hear the language spoken and see an amazing sense of style. Catherine Deneuve is magnificently dressed from top to toe. Sadly, the subject matter is a bit offensive and disturbing so I rarely recommend it IRL. Also, may I just add, although I've seen it several times, I must confess, I still don't really get it - someday someone will have to explain it to me. I just fast forward through the less than tasteful scenes to get to the next outfit.

Priceless is one of my more recent french finds. Audrey Tautou (who also played the lead in the movie Coco Before Chanel) and Gad Elmaleh are so adorable is this fresh flick with beautiful backdrops. The music and rhythm of the movie is just right. What I didn't realize until this typing is that the story lines are comparable. Hmmm.

My Life in France is a fantastic book which has brought me the most joy in fantasizing what life in France might be like for any USAmerican. Julia's story is so remarkable in so many ways. I have said that I wish I would have read this book the day it hit bookstores as it contains some truths and wisdom that I could have really used when I made my big move from the West Coast to the East Coast. I really love Julia Child's wit and joie de vivre.

It no longer surprises me that our nation's founding fathers enjoyed time in France, or that France is that official language of the United Nations in New York, NY (USA). The fact that my husband grew up in a part of the southern US where French Huegenots settled and that he has a rather french-sounding last name is a happy coincidence. Also, it turned out that of all the languages offered, he, too, took french courses during his undergraduate studies. Another coincidence, is that when we first visited Washington DC as a family, we were invited to a party at the French Embassy where the people were lovely, the food was excellent and the artwork breathtaking. While I know I'm totally not french, I promise you the french connections do not stop there.

I have ocassionally experimented with my french language skills by trying to use it with the french canadian kids who have come into my life - the mothers always end up correcting me; and, I don't mind at all. I always apologize (for brutalizing their language) and thank them (from keeping me from looking like a buffoon).

I will continue to explore bits about France for as long as it interests me and dream of the day that I will visit.

Au revoir!

 

What's a Smart Woman Like you doing At Home?

In this morning's Washington Post was a confounding Q and A in Judith Martin's Miss Manners Column. In case you haven't seen it, take a look here.

Normally, Miss Manners has a good response. Today? Fail! I'm sure she is weary of the situation; but, a conservative/traditional wife and mother could never say what Miss Manners suggests. The fact of the matter is that I - an "At Home Mom" for  several years - still have issue with this reaction due to current societal expectations. When my younger child began school, the response has become even more harsh. It just seems to bug some people (particularly women) that I don't have career-related anxiety. (Believe me, the stakes in my "career" are mighty high considering the success and failure of my efforts directly impacts my family immediately and quite possible future generations.) I've had to reference one of my favorite suppobooks called What's a Smart Woman Like You Doing at Home? by Linda Burton, Janet Dittmer, Cheri Loveless. (By the way, although somewhat dated, this book should be required reading for any intelligent and/or educated female considering or making this decision to "stay at home.")

What has helped me is that I have recently been hired by our school district as "Degreed Substitute Teacher." I can now say with truth and conviction "I substitute teach." Mind you, I have no interest in teaching permanently. (God bless the teachers who have that calling in life!) My husband and I own a handful of rental properties so I used to respond that I worked at home in our Real Estate Holdings Company; however, after the collapse of the industry, let's just say, the party mood would be dampened. But, I have found that people feel less defensive and disinterested when they are talking to a "sub" as they no longer feel like you are judging them if they are (or their wives are or mothers were) mothers who had to/chose to work outside the home.

(Additionally, I get that the disbelief that I may be "wasting" my education and experience might be a compliment in that someone sees that I have such amazing talent and skills that they would love to have someone such as myself working in their office to help achieve organizational goals. And I'm flattered. Note - I never volunteer that I don't work outside the home - not because of shame, but for the sake of peacefulness and kindness.)

If they still seem interested in conversing (which is often NOT the case), I might share about my hobbies and interests. What is so super sad and boring to me is that there are so many people who have NO interests or hobbies. They are learning NOTHING on a day to day basis. They just move through the day in a herd waiting to be told by their "bosses" what to do. Do they honestly think it's fun or interesting hearing them talk about their sad grey lives in cubicle farms, or what an annoying customer or coworker said, or how inept their manager is, or what they are going to buy with their latest bonus (wait, that last one might be interesting) - well, you get my point.

Let's face it - Specific work talk is usually pretty boring (unless your work affects me - i.e., you are the P.O.T.U.S. or my husband).

I have found that the "working people" with whom I share the best conversations are those few who either are entrepreneurs, independent contractors, teachers, artists and business owners because they often speak to passions, creativity, accomplishments, goals and they are more dynamic.

It is the same kind of energy that I get from at-home moms who truly love what they are doing and are fully engaged in care, development and wellness. These at-home moms are the ones to which I so relate. (The at-home moms who basically just keep the kids fed while they all use technology or other people to entertain themselves all day? Not so much.) Listen, I have come across a handful of at-home dads and dads who are Primary Caregivers who are amazing and interesting fellows. I can imagine that in this culture, the condescension and ignorance is even greater for them.

While I recognize that this may be a defense mechanism/coping adaptation, here is my response for all those who are unable to comprehend why a mother might choose to expend her personal resources in the pursuit of parenthood and homemaking:

"I realize that being the primary caregiver for one's own children isn't for everyone. One must really appreciate her child and the complexity of a mother's relationship with said child, the sanctity of childhood and the home that you make for him. You have to really be willing to learn on the job every single day, research, develop and implement micro-programs and be willing to sacrifice salary, bonuses, prestige and pats on the back for a job well done. I know that in 2011 USA that's not always financially possible. I also know that to many people who grew up middle or lower class combined with the modern day quest for validation and 'stuff' makes my choice seem strange. I know it's hard for you to understand. So if you'll excuse me..." Turn and walk away.

I wonder how Miss Manners would like my answer.